Saturday, September 25, 2010

New Edict from the Glorious Leader

Today the Beloved Leader of the People announced Saturday shall now be the day in which Ontarians shall do their Laundry. It was also declared that those who wish to demonstrate the proper Revolutionary Fervour will also join Laundry Collectives, which will gather the Citizens together for Laundry Classes. In these classes, citizens will not only do their laundry, but study the collective wisdom and teaches of the Dear Leader.

As well, there will be opportunity to denounce to Party Officials all those who are not demonstrating the proper Revolutionary Zeal and are still attempting to do their laundry during the week. The Officials, members of the newly renamed "Ontario People's Police", will bring these decadent holdovers of previous regimes to Educational Camps, where they will learn the proper thoughts of citizens of the Glorious Province, and do duty for the Citizens, such as gathering litter and taming the wilderness for the Future of the Ontario Revolution.

The Official Organ of the People's Liberal Party of Ontario, (aka The Toronto Star), also announced to great news the curiculum of the new all day Kindergarten. The students, now called the Vanguards for a Glorious Ontario, will learn to Oppose the Imperialist Decadent Regime of the United States of America, the thoughts and saying of the Beloved Leader, who shall be referred in these classes as the True Parent, and to gather information on all those who demonstrate decadent thought, actions and behaviour. They shall learn that all who exhibit decadents characteristics, no matter who they are, must be denounced to their teachers, who are instructed to inform both Party Officials and the OPP.

The Announcements were greeted with a standing ovation and hymns of Praise to the Wisdom of the True Leader of the People.

Okay, serious time. It seems our beloved Premier is slowly losing touch with reality. Not only is he telling Ontrarians when they should do household work, such as laundry. Of course the explanation is to take advantage of cheaper energy rates, because if you turn on a lightbulb before 9:00PM, Monday to Friday, you may end up needing to declare Bankruptcy. Then we can read that a Commission has agreed to allow Ontario Hydro to rake in a profit of nearly 10%. Think about this, when you pay your hydro bill, one dollar of every ten is profit. Profit that we are told will be used to modernize equipment, but as we know from history, will be used on executive perks.

But never underestimate this government's ability to feel our pain, the Premier said at the announcement:
He acknowledged that scheduling domestic duties to take advantage of “smart meters” and time-of-use rates that discount power on Saturdays and Sundays might not be an option for busy families.

“Terry and I had four kids in five years. We know that sometimes you have to put on the laundry right now. I understand that,” he said.

“But there are other opportunities for some folks, some times, to shift their patterns to later at night and on weekends so that they can have lower electricity bills.”

Reading his words almost brings a tear to my eye. Notice I said 'almost'. I have to wonder if the Premier truly believes the people of this province are nothing more then dolts, dorks and masochists. He can say what he wants and do what he wants and keep going. He gives us the HST, the eco fees, the disaster that was and is telehealth and yet it doesn't faze him in the least.

When the election?

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