Thursday, January 13, 2011

The Dominion Stands Secure

You may have wondered, what have been the dangers which Canada has faced over the last twenty five years or so. Well, today it was finally revealed. It was not: global warming and environmental degradation (really?), nor was it encroachment upon our Arctic Sovereignty ( yawners), and it certainly has not been economic concerns and crises ( oh please, that's so last year). You would think any and all of those have been our chief concern and the potential source of any problems. No the chief source of the misery and plight that has dogged our fair Dominion has been the song, "Money for Nothing". Yes the now classic rock hit by Dire Strait, is and has been the greatest danger facing us as Canadians. If you read any of the news today you saw the headlines, the snorts of derision, the laughter from the rest of the planet. A group called the Canadian Broadcasts Standards Council released the report of a decision reached last October. It seems one person in Newfoundland set a complaint in regarding the song "Money for Nothing". The Council heard the complaint and decided it was a valid complaint and has decided that the song, in its original form is not fit for Canadian ears.

Darryl Sterdan wrote in the Toronto Sun:
It's been a long time since I wanted my MTV -- but right now, I'll take that over the CBSC any day.

In one of the most head-slappingly moronic moves in history, the national embarrassment that is the Canadian Broadcast Standards Council has ruled that Dire Straits' 1985 song Money for Nothing can no longer be played in its original form in Canada -- because one person in Newfoundland was offended over its use of a word that starts with F, rhymes with maggot and refers to gay men.

Let's get a little history happening, the song was written as MTV, was becoming a part of the public conscience. In fact in those days the "M" stood for "Music" and not "Mediocre Crap". Music Video was the new format and a lot of bands were taking advantage of it, certainly there was some great stuff but one of the complaints was that style was overriding substance. Mark Knopfler, the lead singer of Dire Straits, and composer of the song, says he was in a furniture store and overheard one of the salesman complaining about how these 'musicians' were making easy money by being on the MTV. He grabbed some paper, a pen and began to write the comments this guy was making. He turned them into part of the song, released with the album "Brothers in Arms" and the rest is history. However we now know that all the social ills in Canada can be traced back to this one song.

Now, I bought the CD when I bought my first CD player, in fact I've owned it on every possible medium, from cassette to vinyl. So I guess I am now corrupt.

However now, thanks to the CBSC, we are now safe from future corruption, because our radio airwaves, that is the terrestrial ones will no longer play this song. So from this day forward, future generations will not be exposed to it, unless they are connected to the Internet, or been to a record store, do those still exist, or a used book/ music store.

Now far be it for me to leave future generations uncorrupt. So here is the song.

Watch Dire Straits - Money for Nothing in Music  |  View More Free Videos Online at

Just a few more things: if you want to complain here is the contact information page. Yes I've already written them. The second thing is this, if there is one over arching characteristic shared by bureaucracies, be they public or private, government, corporate or industry based, is that none of them possess in the slightest a sense of humour. They cannot comprehend humour, sarcasm, satire, irony or anything else. It is totally beyond them. The third thing is, if you have to ban a song, why can't it be Celine Dion's cover of "You Shook me All Night Long", a version which has been agreed by experts as being the worst cover of all times. It is so bad I implore you do not look it up. It is not terrible, it is the personification of evil. You will beg someone to throw acid at your eyes if you start to view this video. So don't.

And the last thing is: its only Rock 'N Roll, but I like it.

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